Yeah I come from California- God is green . . . eyes are blue.

Whenever I experience beauty, I always have a sudden urge to write. To pick up a pen, pencil, or open up a Word document and try to capture that beauty. To attempt at finding the perfect words and phrases that will describe feelings, smells, sights, tastes, and sounds of beauty. Tonight I went on a run, which has become customary of my evenings here in San Francisco. It's more of an obligation that comes with my steps towards bettering myself: mind, body, and spirit aligned. But tonight it was a pleasure, a very rare occurrence, so I tried to relish it and I will try to describe here what I saw, smelled, heard, and felt:

I saw the sky. It was dusk, my favorite time of day, when the clouds turn pink and the setting sun turns the whole city golden. I ran up the Harry stairs (all 230 of them) and then around the entirety of the top of the ridge, glimpsing the glinting and glowing city every few seconds as it bobbed in and out between the houses. When I reached Billy Goat Park, I experienced the same sense of weightlessness that keeps me coming back there--I felt on the top of the world and that I could hold the entire city before me and the Bay beyond in my grasp. I would like to go to this spot at any time of day and I am sure that it each hour has its own character. I saw the fog as it advanced over the top of Twin Peaks, threatening to take over the city with its blanket of mist. It was like a scene in a movie, when the storm advances, foreshadowing the coming of evil. When I came over the top of Diamond Blvd, the sun had disappeared over the top of the hill, leaving only a glowing strip of light that speckled through the mist of the fog, turning its underside into light.

I smelled the pungent mix of clean air, hyacinth, Indian food, marijuana, licorice, and laundry (my favorite smell)

I heard the happy and uplifting music in my ear buds--I was listening to a mix that I made for a beach trip I took with Lindsay two summers ago. It reminded me of the carefree, blissful time with a dear, dear friend--a combination of the Goo Goo Dolls, bluegrass, the Dandy Warhols, oldies, the Indigo Girls, "A Dios de Pido," G. Love, and Gary Jules, who I have named this post after.

I felt exhilaration in my muscles, a burning feeling that kept me going and my legs moving. I felt that gasping, straining pain in my chest but somehow I wanted to keep running, to conquer stair cases and hills. I felt like my legs could take me anywhere. The beautiful thing is, they can!

"Ecstasy is all you need,
Living in the big machine,
Now..."
-the Goo Goo Dolls

in summer, the song sings itself

“In summer, the song sings itself.” -William Carlos Williams

I don't know if it's just because I have more time to explore during the summer, free of academic commitments or tasks afterhours, but I seem to define my summers and my summer adventures through song. I always seem to discover new music and turn my new favorite tunes into mix CDs for my friends during the summer months.

It might also be because of my current musical interests, but folk, oldie, and bluegrass music seem to define summer to me. Some tunes I have been listening to and enjoying lately have been the Fleet Foxes, Blitzen Trapper (Portland band!!), and the Giving Tree Band (the philsophy behind this band is inspiring!) along with old favorites such as Old Crow Medicine Show, Cat Stevens, the Band, CCR, and Emmylou Harris.

Road trips also mean time and space for music exploration, delving into the depths of my ipod to discover and resdiscover tracks. I just returned yesterday from a delightful and relaxing family vacation/road trip. Last Thursday, Ann, Steve, Dylan, and his friend Philip and I hopped in the car and drove up I5 to Ashland, Or. The next day we were joined by Mom, Dad, Kevin, and Colin and we spent the next 3 days seeing theatre at the Shakespeare Festival, reexploring the town as we do every year, and in my case, spending money on gifts.

One of my biggest expenses, speaking of music, was a wonderful concert-sized ukulele! I am so excited to have a portable instrument like this aside from my large Martin guitar that is beautiful and smells nice but is also very heavy. It's also easier for my little fingers to find the right cords and sustain them on this little uke. I didn't buy it in Hawaii, but at least I am helping to support an independent music store in Ashland! Appropriately, it's named after one of my favorite "Band" songs...it's called "Cripple Creek Music Company." My stringed instrument career continues to grow! I've definitely been inflicted again with the creative bug! After being in Ashland and perusing artists' greeting cards, prayer flags, and musical talents, I want to write my own songs, record them collaboratively, create collage art, and write novels obsessively. I wish my summer allowed all that time but don't I always wish I lived two simultaneous lives?

We stopped for a night on the way back to the city in Arcata, CA Mecca for hippy and artistic-minded people like me. Steve is a Humboldt State alum and still has many college friends in the area. We had a fantastic time eating tacos and sharing stories with them in the evening and exploring the town the next day. I was lucky enough to find my heaven: Tin Can Mailman, one of the best and well-stocked used book stores I have ever seen aside from Powells! I was surprised to find a book I'd been looking for in SF book stores for weeks and lingered in the three aisles of nature-themed books. I could have spent a whole day in there and the staff was unusually well-read and very knowledgable about the stock! That's the kind of place I'd like to own. I would combine books with art and wrap it all up with good music and inspiring speakers.

Share your creative thoughts below!! I want to hear where your mind wanders...

all deep things are song

"Vocation is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's great need." -Frederick Buechner

I first heard this quotation last summer during my first exposure to the Shinnyo-en Foundation as a Shinnyo-en Summer Fellow at SU. I think it’s only fitting that this quote has become even more apparent this summer as thoughts of vocation and future are even more glaring. I am constantly thinking about what makes me deeply happy and how these happy things and talents can be used so serve in my post-graduate years. It doesn’t help that I am constantly surrounded by competent and amazing people at SEF who seem to embody understanding of Frederick Beuchner’s words and are putting their talents into action. Thoughts of understanding my strengths and what makes me “me” have been continually revealing themselves to me this summer…things like music (playing and appreciating), working with kids, writing, learning from other writers, publishing, enjoying the outdoors, simple living, and promoting peace and harmony. Even though they are becoming more concrete and real now, I have come to realize that these things have been with me for my whole life, things that have always defined me as long as I can remember.

The music piece became especially apparent today as I ventured up to the Marin Headlands to do a reflection activity on behalf of Shinnyo-en with my coworker Maura. We were invited by an organization called “Music National Service,” which is kind of like the Peace Corps for musicians, to come do an introductory reflection about service and our “roots” for about 20 “fellows.” These fellows are either trained musicians, music teachers, and/or music therapists, who are being funded by our government to bring music into schools or hospitals or nursing homes. These are mostly underserved areas that do not have music education or any musical presence…somehow these fellows are expected to use their musical talents to create community and to bring people together. The concept is incredible. (http://www.musicnationalservice.org/)

When Maura and I walked up to the building where the group was meeting, a great sense of peace washed over me. We were surrounded by trees, a soft breeze, and the scent of pine. When we reached the top of the stairs, I heard the sound of “Blackbird” being picked on a guitar accompanied by soft singing overlaid by intricate piano playing further interspersed with various drum beats. We were completely enveloped by the music. After about fifteen minutes of set-up and introductions, I felt completely at home. I could relate to these people right away in a way that I cannot completely explain. It wasn’t that I was on the same page with them musically (in fact, I felt somewhat intimidated by them), but after leading the reflection activity, I felt as though I wanted to know every person in that room in a very deep way. I wanted to hear each person’s story. This doesn’t happen too often and I just went along with the warmth I was feeling in my heart.

There is something about music that touches and moves people in a way that nothing else can. I can think of nothing more real, authentic, and creative than music. It is universal, it can define a person or a culture, and when a person shares music with you, I feel as though they are sharing a very intimate part of their soul. Music makes us want to connect—to our humanity, to who we are individually, and to each other. It is the earthly and sensory representation of something beyond what we can create. We can surely be creative with music, but the creation itself is something that I will never understand. To hear tight harmony is something magical.

The universe has strange ways of telling you things…things that seem normal. It seems as though these moments of intervention by the universe should be introduced with a warning like a bright light, a halo, or the stoppage of time. But of course it doesn’t happen like that. I’ve had weird and coincidental things happen in my life, things that have made me question the “randomness” of our lives, but have never labeled them as monumental or “telling” until today. First of all, I met a woman at the event at the Marin Headlands who was on staff at Music National Service. Turns out that her previous job was working in the environmental education field. What a small world! I asked her how she got into the job with MNS, and she said that her heart is with working in nature but that her passion in life is just to promote “education that works” regardless of the subject matter taught. What a fantastic way to think about the educational field! She has worked towards creating meaningful opportunities for kids with music and in nature, two things that are so universal to humanity and something that I could look forward to in my life in the future.

The other moment happened much later in the day, when I was walking down Chestnut Street to meet a longtime family friend for wine and appetizers at a wine bar. I had just had a stressful previous half hour, almost leaving my debit card in an ATM, trying to maneuver MUNI across town, and talking to mom and dad on the phone about my overstimulating day. I looked up to see a woman waving at me from a couple feet away. It was a woman who had been at the presentation I had done earlier with Music National Service! She recognized me by my Six Billion Paths to Peace tshirt and of course I recognized her. I couldn’t believe it. Turns out that she is also a site leader for the MNS folks serving in Seattle, one of their sites being Baily Gatzert Elementary right down the street from my house. Bizarre and telling. When she handed me her card, I couldn’t help but shake my head. If that wasn’t the universe giving me an invitation I don’t know what could be.

This is an aerial shot of the Marin Headlands, just to give a little visual taste about where I was today

The Marin Headlands Youth Hostel