youth to youth

After returning from my week-long trip to the LA area (Claremont), it’s taken me a couple days to step back and process/reflect on my experience there. Coming back to the “real world” of sorts has not necessarily been a rough transition, but certainly an interesting one.

I alluded in my last post that I was going to Claremont for a week to help facilitate at a drug and alcohol prevention conference hosted by a national organization called Youth to Youth. I flew down on Monday and arrived at the Ontario airport in the afternoon unaware of what to expect or what the organization really did…there is only so much that you can glean from a website! I was picked up by Kris who was holding a sign with my name on it! That was the first time that had happened for both of us (holding a sign for someone at an airport) so we were excited. Kris took me to the Claremont McKenna campus where I checked in and put my bags in my room. I spent the next 3 hours until training started exploring the Scripps and Pomona campuses and strolling through the small town which was charming and blended in perfectly with the campuses--kind of bizarre.

At 7pm I arrived blindly at the training room literally knowing no one, nervous if I would fit in or not. When I walked in, the room was filled with teens and adults, all greeting each other with excited hugs and exclamations. They obviously all knew each other already. I quietly walked over to an empty seat and sat down but was quickly greeted with a huge hug and a “nice to meet you!” by another staff member. Thinking back on this scene and my introduction Youth to Youth, it’s hard to imagine that 2 months ago I did not know this organization existed. It’s hard to imagine that only a week ago I was arriving in Claremont. And that 2 days ago I got back to San Francisco. So removed now from this community and family that I completely immersed myself in for 5 days, it’s hard to label my week as anything but surreal.

After the first night where I got to meet the other youth and adult staff members and after the first day when I got to know them all very well, I felt as though I had gone through a grueling crash course. Even though I relished meeting all of the staff members and having the opportunity to get to know their stories, I was still far behind the adults who had been working for Youth to Youth for 20 years, other adults who had been attending the conference since they were 14 years old, or teens who has spent their entire adolescence in the program. I learned a lot about drug and alcohol prevention and that this conference had nothing to do with rehabilitation or treatment. Youth to Youth’s four pillars are drug free fun, education, personal growth, and community change, all of which I felt like I could stand for and all which had nothing to do with substance abuse or treatment. Some of the people who came through the program could have used in the past, but this was not really part of their present or intended future. And if it was, it wasn’t really mentioned.

Being an “outsider” to the program, in other words, I have not been involved with Y2Y for most of my life and have never made such a serious commitment to a drug-free lifestyle, I felt in the beginning as though I was somewhat of a “fake.” I still feel like that to some extent, but I learned by the end of the week that this program is more about community building, leadership development, and authentic relationships than it is about checking up on people’s individual lifestyle choices. The first few days made me think a lot. What would my life have been like if I had made such a commitment in high school? Not much different, but a community like this would have been pretty special. How would my life have been different if I had gone to a public high school, where pressure to drink or do drugs would have been more real beyond my academically-focused life at SMA? Who am I to myself and others? How can drugs or alcohol change a person’s priorities or way of presenting themselves in the world? Have I ever let that change me? How do I model good behavior? Who looks up to me? What is good behavior for myself and my core values? What am I passionate about and want to retain close to me? Who do I look up to? These questions were constantly circulating through my head as I tried to take in the whole experience, especially when the pace picked up as the middle/high school participants arrived and I began to form bonds with them and hear their stories.

At the end of the week, when I was completely overwhelmed with the experience and the incredible people I had met, I began to realize how non-coincidental it all was. Sometimes you meet people and experience things at just the right time in your life and they catch you off guard. That’s what last week was like to me. Meeting a woman who I will now look up to and emulate as I pursue my career path in education and writing…my discussions with her and her presence in my life cannot have been random. Or meeting a 16 year old young woman who is now like a little sister to me…discovering that my age means that I am now suddenly a role model cannot have been random. Facilitating a group and meeting the 9 amazing high schoolers in our group cannot have been random.

I have begun to take this summer in stride: to let the people that I encounter and my experiences in California to affect me. To let them fall into place in the jigsaw puzzle of my life and my path. My personal philosophy (or as we say it at Shinnyo-en, my “path to peace”) is that improving the world and my experience in it will ultimately come through connections and relationships. Balancing a strong sense of self with the relationships that I form and being transformed by what I see and experience will change my consciousness. Doing this will allow me to see the world differently and act more compassionately because I understand my place. These realizations are what Youth to Youth has given to me and I hope that it continues to give to me as I maintain the relationships I have established. I hope this esoteric reflection has represented a minutia of what I have been discovering and grappling with, but if not, just trust me. Life can just hit you sometimes.The Youth and Adult staff at Youth to Youth!